Killing me softly

Hi all,

Hoping you’re well wherever you are!

I’d like to believe I’m a very private person, with only a certain few having access to me & my thoughts. Of course, in goodness, others try to break through the high walls I’ve created around me, but I’m a tough cookie. Off late, I may have cut off from people even more. Sure I’m aware that speaking, opening up to people helps make one feel lighter, but I feel it’s temporary. Cuz honestly, others may listen, offer advice, but no one can really do anything more than that. What’s the point then?! I’d rather keep it all to myself, if I’m the only one who can do something about it, right?

Insomnia must be what it is I’m going through, but I’m no therapist. I was beginning to get used to it, having difficulty falling asleep at night, the overthinking doesn’t help either, but I was beginning to accept and deal with it. However now there’s this new pattern! I could be deep in slumber but a random thought, sound, imagination or memory is enough to break this sleep! I’m not talking about dreams (or nightmares). And this tends to happen early morning, a little before sunrise. Worse when it is accompanied by this slow but steadily arriving headache. It’s even more frustrating as you’re up and awake, your mind’s happily building on those unnecessary thoughts, and you’re consciously forcing yourself to stop thinking & fall asleep cuz you’ve got to get to work in literally a couple of hours! Anxiety could be the cause of it, I don’t know. But tossing and turning every night (and now mornings too) with this extremely uncomfortable feeling in your body, blood is unexplainably painful.

I don’t know why I’ve written this, maybe this is a terrible post, maybe it’s different from my regular writing, I honestly don’t know. But maybe this is my way of opening up, not to a particular friend, or to a particular family member. Maybe this is my way of expressing it and releasing it, maybe this will help feel lighter and maybe with this, sleeping peacefully may actually be a reality.

Here’s to me opening up to my own issues. Here’s to me accepting my flaws & imperfection. I’ve never tried to impress anyway, and with this I’m all the more re-emphasizing that I’ll deal with whatever it is myself, my way.

If you’ve actually read through, thank you!

Stay happy, healthy & blessed wherever you are.

Lots of love,

The Silent Hummer

Franchua D’Souza

To laugh & cry, to live & die

Hello all,

Pretty sure things haven’t improved much since my last blog post, but hoping you and your families are doing well.

Off late, I’ve been having a tough time sleeping well at night. I mean, look, it’s 1:45am (again!) and I’m typing this. Even after the exhaustive work from home schedule and an overthinker’s mind, I end up turning and twisting and struggling to fall asleep. Don’t suggest the ol’ counting sheep tactic.. It failed too.

There’s a lot of questions, a lot of queries, just a lot of stuff happening in my mind. And about 2 days back I decided I’ll not speak about them. Won’t talk about things that bother me or disturb me, won’t even discuss with friends, not with family either. I understand that not everyone can empathise and that’s okay.

Moving on, The one thing that comes naturally to everyone I guess is judgement. Very consciously over the past 2 years, I’ve learnt or rather I’m still learning how to not judge someone, maybe because I’ve been judged so much myself.

While it’s very easy to classify someone based on their looks, clothes, their topics of discussion, their partner choices, their communication skills, their religious beliefs, their deep and dark personality etc, you will never truly know everything about a person, right? Like, How about these:

– You will never know how much pain & struggle a person has been through or has endured.

– How much of love, sacrifice or hardwork a person has put in to achieve something

– Their Silent tears and prayers

– Their fights with friends, family or anyone they needed to prove a point to.

– The countless number of times they’ve mentally given up

– The amount of pressure they put on themselves to make things right.

– The times they were breaking inside, yet pulled off a smile.

And so many more..

I hope we all realise life is not easy for anyone. We all have our own privileges and our own challenges. Instead of adding to someone else’s woes, focus on building yourself and others around you. You and I are no one to judge. If you can’t help others, it’s fine. Just do your bit positively and move along. I’m certain if we all try, the world will be a much better place.

On that note, I’ll start my anxiety filled “trying to sleep” routine.. Stay safe, healthy & blessed wherever you are. Thank you for reading.

Lots of love,

The Silent Hummer

Franchua D’Souza

Mama Mia, how can I resist you!

On this lazy Sunday afternoon as I lay in bed with my feet stretched out to the cupboard next to it, I’m thinking mozarella cheese. I’m thinking Burrata cheese. I’m thinking home made pasta. I’m thinking a glass of fancy red wine. I’m thinking some great music. I’m thinking great company. I’m thinking of a great Italian pasta bar in Hong Kong. Oh wait, I’m transported to Pici (Pronounced as Peachy)!

If you’ve read my previous travel posts, you will know that I’m not a big fan of South East Asian cuisines. Considering it is an acquired taste, I think my palette is opening up to it, but I can’t say I’m fond of it yet. Thankfully Hongkong has so many options available, I survived it without missing Indian food.

Here’s another thing about me. I’ve never gone trekking in my life, well at least not until Hong Kong happened. On one of my days there, the inner athletic in me decided to go trekking on the Dragon’s back. A legit 4 hour morning trek with a few stops to admire and click the scenic views.

It was certainly a personal accomplishment and what better way than to celebrate it with some great Italian food!

If you’re in Hong Kong, you’re probably well acquainted with Pici. Initially I called it everything from PC to Picki to pishi. On being seated, I finally gathered some courage and decided to get it out of the way with and asked what’s the place actually called! Peachy it is!

It is hard to miss Pici. If you’ve not visited it yet, I strongly suggest you give it a shot. It’s definitely worth the hype. The food for one is amaaaaaaazing, I mean I’m actually drooling thinking about that burrata cheese and gnocchi Al pesto pasta right now! I’m not a Tiramisu or Panna Cotta fan generally, but boy! I really did enjoy my dessert too here. Did I mention they’ve got some interesting cocktails?

Pici is well located and that’s another plus point. The place has got such a relaxing feel and vibe to it, the music and decor certainly add to it. The staff is warm and welcoming, happy to give their recommendations when needed. And the fact that you get to see your pasta being made in front of you is just so cool.

This restaurant is all about a great experience. Having been able to have super fun conversations with strangers, I won’t be shy in saying this restaurant can actually be an ideal place for a first date/tenth date.. Whatever! I mean this is where I got to know about the ‘Brad Pitt returning to Jennifer Aniston’ rumour. Don’t forget to make a reservation in advance, I tell you! You can thank me later.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. If you’re visiting Hong Kong, you should definitely put this on your list of restaurants that need to be visited.

I’ll keep sharing tidbits from my Hong Kong trip here on the blog. Do let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

 

Lots of love,

The Silent Hummer

Franchua D’Souza

I need more of you

Hello Everyone,

Yes I actually need more of you. I need to reach out to a larger audience now that it’s been a year blogging and I’ve achieved over 100 of you as followers from WordPress. Now I feel more confident about doing this and I’d really want for this blog to grow. In no way does that mean I’m going to compromise on my style/ quality of blogging. If anything, I’d love to improve like so many of you. I will one hundred percent stay truthful to my blogging. No brand/ PR company can change that.
I’d already hopped on to the Twitter and Instagram bandwagon recently, and now the latest is Bloglovin. Follow Me.

Let’s see where it goes from here. Hope all of you continue to be an active part of this experience. Would love if you’d follow me on these social sites. Honestly it’s like treading new waters for me.

Do share with me blogging tips to increase my readership. Or in case you’re on either of these sites, let’s connect. Thanks in advance.

Lots of Love,

The Silent Hummer,
Franchua D’Souza

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5, 6, 7, 8!

The Silent Hummer Turns one today!

Exactly this day last year I started The Silent Hummer, and I am super thrilled for myself that I actually stuck to blogging. Evidently, it wasn’t just some random phase. I can’t wait for this blog to turn 5,6,7,8! Thank you for all the likes, comments, follows and appreciation. You may also congratulate me in the comment box and show some love.. Haha!

What else I’m excited about in life? Getting to be Bridesmaid once again!! Being a Bridesmaid is so much fun with the dress, shoes, the make up, hair do, the attention you receive etc. There are responsibilities too, but who’s complaining about them?

The first duty assigned to me as a bridesmaid was to shortlist dress patterns from the internet. I thought I’d do a great job considering there are like a million pictures available online. However directly googling pictures and patterns wasn’t worthwhile leading me to nothing but those trite patterns. I knew Pinterest would not disappoint. Let’s say, I wasn’t very pleased with my search, but none the less I managed to shortlist a few patterns. Duty one : ✔

Next I got a text stating we need to go for dress measurements. Not that we’ve selected the pattern but just y’know- measurements. Immediately panic struck! I’ve put on 6 kgs in the last 3-4 months and I don’t want to be a fat bridesmaid. Luckily there are still 4 months to go so I’ve requested for a months’s time to lose a little weight here and there. Kellogs Cornflake diet started. Duty two: ✔

Yesterday was the coolest part so far. Shoes shopping. Yay! The bride already shortlisted a few pairs and we just needed to go with the comfiest. So after I finished work last evening we planned to meet at one of the shoe shops at Bandra and after some major debating on color, pattern, size, what looked lose but felt comfortable against what looked perfect but was uncomfortable, whether to use the half insole or whole, we bought our pairs of shoes. Duty three: ✔

This reminded me of Cinderella.

Reaching Bandra before the others gave me enough of time to glance, and try on a variety of shoes at the different shops.It’s difficult to not give into temptation and buy some pairs for office wear/ casual wear or whatever occasion. I thought my will power was awesome yesterday. But now on second thoughts I should’ve gotten those flats that were on sale. Anyway..

Looking at the collection of shoes in all these shops, makes you want to have them all, isn’t it?

Here’s a little thing I’d like to share. While trying on different pairs of shoes, there was this one particular pair I saw and wished was the one we settled for, given the fact that there are going to be long standing hours, some last minute running about, and lots of dancing to be done. Good news? The bride agreed that those were the ones we’d be wearing on her D- Day! I cannot share the image of that pair now obviously, but when the time is right you will get to see them.

Vellena, the bride to be! Wishing her love and luck!

Lots of love,

The Silent Hummer
Franchua D’Souza

Go Cheetah, get Banana! Hey Monkey- Get Funky!

Hello Everyone,

Recently I asked my cousin Jonathan (who’s now in Bahrain) if he went through my blog to which he replied in the negative. He later went through all the posts and what’s apped me with a suggestion saying I should have a section of my musings. He thought my idea of titling the posts with lyrics of songs went well with my blog name. However according to him, the topics I posted about were banal, and he suggested I try something different like jotting down some personal thoughts/feelings. I hadn’t really thought about a particular musings section, as for me my whole blog was a personal feeling thing. Anyway, here I am, taking up this challenge. I’ve made this new category – The Hummer’s musings. This will include things I directly relate with, I’m sure I’ll find others who do too.
Here’s the first one.

I just cannot- I mean CANNOT get myself to eat a banana in public (currently the workplace).
It just feels awkward and weird to peel off a banana in front of anyone and take a bite. It’s not like eating an orange or an apple you know. So whenever I have a banana in my bag, I tend to either eat it quickly with no one around the area or will have it already sliced in a bowl and pick one piece at a time with a spoon, like you do when you have a fruit salad.
I’m sure there are many others who think about a banana like this.

Let me know what you think.

Lots of love,
Thesilenthummer

If you just put pen(cil) to paper

Working in a corporate environment, looking forward to Fridays is a very natural thing. But yesterday was one of the busiest I’ve had lately. I think it’s probably why my Monday was pretty chilled out.. In fact it was so chilled out, that I was able to make a decent phone cover for my phone’s almost broken case.
I’m not very good at letting go of things, even if it’s just a phone case. It was cracked a little, but somehow art and craft struck me when I saw this waste A/4 size sheet of paper lying around the printer at work. In fact it was there for days, probably just waiting for someone to put it to use. Everything needed to make this was at my desk.

Apparatus:
Pencil, any paper you want as the cover, paper scissors, transparent cello tape and my cell phone case.

Method:
I immediately traced the case out on the blank side of the sheet, cut it out, got the tiny details cut out ( the best I could) , cut out long strips of tape and put them sticking to each other to give the paper a laminated look, cut out the extra tape around the edges of the traced paper, placed the sheet over the case and with some more tape I stuck it precisely on all 4 sides.

Time:
30 mins or less. ( I took much more time but that’s because I first made a matte one with matte tape which I didn’t quite like)

Observation:
If you look at it from a distance and do not directly feel it , you won’t be able to tell it’s paper. When I started doing it, it was just to pass my time. I didn’t realize it would look pretty decent 🙂

Comments:
Some may argue it’s crappy but I’m partial to my craft work here.

People’s reactions so far are mixed really. Some appreciate the art and effort, some think the colors are too childish but I explain it’s from paper that was there already, my sister said she can afford to buy me a new case. My lunch pal at work realized why I kept my phone screen facing down. 😉

All in all, I’m keeping it for a few more days until I think it’s time to change it with another print maybe 🙂
Will certainly keep you posted.

Oh also, the other day someone received flowers at work which is not a very common occurrence. Here’s a pic.

Pretty, aren’t they?

Hope you all are enjoying weekend..

Yours Truly,
Thesilenthummer
Franchua D’Souza